She designed a life she loved.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Since this blog is all about me, and what I think, see, feel...blah blah blah
I am entitled to say something as petty as I HATE writing in pen!
Almost as much as I hate taking my B vitamins every morning.
Mom always told me never to say hate, but this is an exception people.
Anyways, the point being that I hate writing in pen and I also hate writing on a blank computer page.
My ideas have always flown so much better coming from a mechanical pencil 
and college ruled notebook paper.

That said, I have discovered that my blog will most likely come out more ME sounding
If i first 1.) Write them down in pencil, and then
2.) copy them on here 
So here I begin...

I believe that home is where my heart is.
There is a real reason why that is so cliche.
I miss the security of Arizona,
I most definitely miss coming home to chaos and the T.V. on and voices talking...
ANYTHING is better than coming home to absolute silence now, really.
I also miss my family and the fact that I can't hang out at home with them whenever I want.
I miss my old friends.
I have learned that it's true when people say you can't grow an old friend.
Too bad I have like zero time here.

All these things are true, but I very much love Utah.
It's not all that it's cracked up to be on some levels,
But I find it so much more fulfilling then I thought it would be.
Some days are hard, and not fun.
I'll be lonely and what not and probably a little bored
I throw myself my little pity party (duh!)
And then I do what you gotta do...I get over it.
I try extra hard to find reasons to love my job.
I talk tons at church and other activities because I know how it feels to not know one person.
I go out of my way to introduce myself and remember their name.
I embrace the fact that everyone up here is an orphan too, just like me.

I'm not saying that this is where I will always be.
But, I am truly happy that I am here, right now.
I will never experience this kind of challenge at any other point in my life and I am embracing that.

For now,
I feel very peaceful here and I feel very safe.

I still cannot get used to the beauty.

Nothing compares to HOME, ever!
But it's moments like driving home from yogurtland tonight with a new girl friend who is tons like me
And she says, "Even you talking to me at church made everything so much better and I 
already loved it here."
...and I think so myself this is the best thing ever for me right now!
So glad I followed my heart up here

xoxo jess


  1. Sounds like you're having an adventure! It would be so hard to leave home though! You are so brave!!!!

  2. Can I just say that it took me a really long time to learn this lesson, but I feel the same way! (most days) Some days I want to curl up in a ball on my bed and stay there for at least a week...

    Despite that though, I'm learning that everybody goes through crappy stuff and if it's not a sickness with physical pain, it's sure to be emotional pain.

    But I LOVE that you are learning (much like myself ) that even the most foreign situations can be home if your heart is in them.

    Love you, Jess!!!!!

  3. Love you too mal! I'm proud of you too woman:) It might have been a church lesson or advice from a book I can't remember...but anyways, it said that we need to spend time by ourselves so that we have a good relationship with ourselves. Which was such a new idea to me but honestly does it not make sense?
    P.S. the happiest people I know are going through what you are going through right now. I love you. Call me whenever.

    @ Alexis...your getting ready for an adventure yourself my lady! so excited for you! It's so feeling see where and how everyone from high school is ending up!