She designed a life she loved.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Since this blog is all about me, and what I think, see, feel...blah blah blah
I am entitled to say something as petty as I HATE writing in pen!
Almost as much as I hate taking my B vitamins every morning.
Mom always told me never to say hate, but this is an exception people.
Anyways, the point being that I hate writing in pen and I also hate writing on a blank computer page.
My ideas have always flown so much better coming from a mechanical pencil 
and college ruled notebook paper.

That said, I have discovered that my blog will most likely come out more ME sounding
If i first 1.) Write them down in pencil, and then
2.) copy them on here 
So here I begin...

I believe that home is where my heart is.
There is a real reason why that is so cliche.
I miss the security of Arizona,
I most definitely miss coming home to chaos and the T.V. on and voices talking...
ANYTHING is better than coming home to absolute silence now, really.
I also miss my family and the fact that I can't hang out at home with them whenever I want.
I miss my old friends.
I have learned that it's true when people say you can't grow an old friend.
Too bad I have like zero time here.

All these things are true, but I very much love Utah.
It's not all that it's cracked up to be on some levels,
But I find it so much more fulfilling then I thought it would be.
Some days are hard, and not fun.
I'll be lonely and what not and probably a little bored
I throw myself my little pity party (duh!)
And then I do what you gotta do...I get over it.
I try extra hard to find reasons to love my job.
I talk tons at church and other activities because I know how it feels to not know one person.
I go out of my way to introduce myself and remember their name.
I embrace the fact that everyone up here is an orphan too, just like me.

I'm not saying that this is where I will always be.
But, I am truly happy that I am here, right now.
I will never experience this kind of challenge at any other point in my life and I am embracing that.

For now,
I feel very peaceful here and I feel very safe.

I still cannot get used to the beauty.

Nothing compares to HOME, ever!
But it's moments like driving home from yogurtland tonight with a new girl friend who is tons like me
And she says, "Even you talking to me at church made everything so much better and I 
already loved it here."
...and I think so myself this is the best thing ever for me right now!
So glad I followed my heart up here

xoxo jess

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

oh helllooo!

I am having an ADD attack right now and cannot focus on one thing
I have a thought for 2 seconds and jump right on to the next.
So I guess that is what this post will represent.
Welcome to the world inside my head...

I like am obsessed with glitter nail polish right now
I am in Love with UTAH right now and never ever ever want to leave.
Every day (ok maybe just today) feels glorious
I hate handling so much cash at work as a teller...
but on the other hand I love the young people I see and work with.
Im super stoked about next week in AZ and this time I will be patient and layout!
I got a new NEVERSAYNEVER poster the other day
now i have a JB poster, calendar, and doll in my room. yay!
I am trying to sell my contract cause I feel the need to be way more social and live with like 8 girls
I realized again last night that I am dating the right person for me:)
I need to start working out
Its been about 6 weeks, honestly but that is between you and I
I wanna ditch my plans to just be a nurse and be an author too
So I got this ring from my grandma caroline that I wear everyday and absolutely adore it,
it goes with everything
oh hi i am obsessed with blogs
I miss homework TONS! can't wait to get back to school!
I go through phases where I refuse to take pics cause I feel like I dont look my best
...yeah totally need to get over that.
I used to think that blondes were way prettier than brunettes
ok, i know that was kind of racist.
but guess what!
i am in the process of going brunette because helllooo!! brunette is so cute idk what i was thinking!
hey can someone remind me what i have to do tomorrow?
oh yes i would love to just airbrush the whole world so everybody would be tan and beautiful
but also healthy and skin-cancer free
ask me about details.
I just started taking B vitamins...
is it just me or can I already tell a difference?

Saturday, April 9, 2011


it's a snowy saturday night here in Provo and I am home in my living room
home sweet home
I am loving it.
It's good to have my quiet time and time to get to know myself.
I've  been thinking alot about the meaning of service,
And what it means to touch other people’s lives.
I know that service can be very personal,
But what if we just got over that and starting to share?
I think that it could spread alot farther that way.
I know how much i thrive off reading other bloggers stories
about their projects and what they are doing to make a difference.
Honestly never once have i thought..
"Hmm now that's embarrassing...they shouldnt have posted that."
So I’m going to get over my own blogging insecurities as well and just share what I think!

So tonight as I said,
While sitting in front of the tv
I started to think about what I can do to make a difference in someones life
Before my night was over.
It is kind of hard to get out and do that since technically I am kinda still the
new girl in town and dont know millions of people...yet.
And then it dawned on me that I should start with those that I am closest with

I think i already knew what I needed to do,
I just now got the courage to do it.

So, being that my boyfriend is occupied at a dinner at the moment,
I knew that a text was pretty much the only way to reach him
but will mean just the same.
So our conversation went a little something like this:

Me: “Oh and just so you know...
if you feel like you need to go sale this summer or move to a certain place or do something that you feel like you need to do even if its hard on me/us,
I will support you. Promise. No matter what it is...
I love you too much to hold you back from anything:)
Just wanted you to know you have my support without ever needing to ask.”

And then I got this little message back:
“babbbbbbbby i looooooove you!!”

I love him, duh.

And yes, I feel a quite accomplished and I do have the warm fuzzys.

Yeah, the idea of matt doing sales all summer and having to do a long distance relationship
is absultely terrifying.
I thought we would be done with that foreverrrrrrr foreverrr foreverr.
but I am definitely not one to be closed minded about Someone Else’s plan other than my own,
if you know what I mean...

So who knows what will happen with that,
but I do feel like I learned a little bit more about what ‘service’ means
because I said something that he needed to hear and meant alot to him
that was actually very hard for me to say.
but also something that I truly mean and a promise that I intend to keep

Lesson learned: The way to serve someone isn’t usually a way you might prefer, but is more a way that they need. If you love them it's just something that you do.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Whether I like it or not

"You are here on earth for a divine purpose. It is not to be endlessly entertained or to be constantly in full pursuit of pleasure. You are here to be tried, to prove yourself so that you can receive the additional blessings God has for you. . . some blessings will be delivered in this life; others will come beyond the veil. The Lord is intent on your personal growth and development. That progress is accelerated when you willingly allow Him to lead you through every growth experience you encounter, whether initially it be to your individual liking or not." 
-Elder Richard G. Scott

(All I am going to say right now is that for the past hour I have given myself a migraine worrying 
about things I can't change and then worrying about the fact that I am worrying. 
This puts quite a bit of peace back into my life.)

P.S. Sometimes I swear the answers to my most needed prayers come so quietly that I almost don't notice the little rush of the chills that come when I know what I have decided is right. There has been times when I have doubted these small answers in the middle of my loud life and need that reassurance again. It's quotes like these that bring me back

Sunday, April 3, 2011


just googled the phrase above and learned that it means to be
'victorious at the task at hand'
soo...i will put the pretzels back and get my hands busy elsewhere.
hey, i will enjoy looking at my blog alot more then my bod after those pretzels anyways!
so all i gotta say is JAI HO to me and this blogging thing,
and to staying awake during conference to get the advice i need.
and yeah to the weather thing outside that looks a bit like this...
a snow globe right?
i do love it, but the fact that i was able to wear shorts yesterday is a bit weird.

Monday, January 10, 2011

If you meet a boy whose presence you feel a desire to achieve, 
who inspires you to do your best,
and to make the most of yourself, 
such a young man is worthy of your love
and is awakening love in your heart.
David O. Mckay

Last night around midnight,
some creeper kept tapping on my apartment door for at least 5 minutes.
I checked the peep hole and he looked kinda scary.
luckily my boyfriend lives across the street 
and come over to protect me and my roommates.
And also brought me peanut butter (creamy, my fav).
i couldn't be happier